Following the publication yesterday in the Daily Mail of my article about the Battle of the Loos at Upton Cressett, I have been besieged by emails and texts from Mail readers and friends – including from Nicholas Coleridge passing through at Rome airport, one of very favourite novelists and best social commentators.
I was quite surprised to note that quite a lot of the comments and
emails – there are over 400 comments on the Mail on Line site – were
from women in their fifties and sixties actually thanking me for writing the article as the obsession with ‘tea and toilets’ on heritage visits seems to be an endemic problem. I admit that our current public toilet facilites are not adequate – and I can assure you I am trying to rectify the siuation with new public toilets planned for next Spring.
What is it with toilets and group tours that gets people so uppity? Following the incident, the owner of one Shropshire local pub/hotel told me how he has politely banned all female groups – including hen nights – from staying at the pub as they ‘are so often more trouble than a joy’ to host as guests. One bugbear that annoyed him was their habit of sitting in their rooms most of the evening drinking cheap gin and vodka from Tesco – not even the bar – and then ‘creating hell’ in the loos and expecting his staff to clear all the mess up.
I love inviting all group visits, especialy women’s groups but being subjected to brazen rudeness after allowing somebody to use one’s own private lavatory – by one’s own ‘guests’ – especially when we dont open for the money but rather out of a love of heritage – is not acceptable. Many agree. I received an email, for example, from a woman called Rhiannon Smythe who read the Mail article in Las Vegas of all places. ‘I thank you for opening it to the public and for your patience and good humour in dealing with us 50-something women. I apologize on behalf of any who have been rude and ill-mannered. Thanks for hanging in there regardless’.
That was good to hear – full text below. I was delighted to invite the WI back this year and am glad to report that all had a wonerful time. The WI are the backbone of rural England and they are always welcome at Upton Cressett – especially now that I have a new loo.
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Dear Mr. Cash,
I just read your article in the Daily Mail online. I had to smile, in
fact I got the giggles. My elder sister is just such a woman as the
infamous Ms Knotty Hair, and yes, she did go on protest marches in her
youth. Even going so far as to protest outside the gates at H.M.S.
Warrior in Northwood, Middlesex where I was serving in the WRNS at the
time…way back in history. You describe her attitude to a tee and for
a fleeting and horrifying moment I wondered if she and the woman in
your article were one and the same…Lord, I hope not! I cannot tell
you how many times I have been mortified by her behaviour in public
and places of interest. There is now an ocean and a continent between
us which is best, though to be sure it’s not enough to stop her.
I have never visited your lovely home but would still like to thank
you for opening it to the public and for your patience and good humour
in dealing with us 50-something women. I apologize on behalf of any
who have been rude and ill-mannered. Thanks for hanging in there
regardless.
Thanks again for the article and best wishes for the future.
Rhiannon
Las Vegas, Nevada
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A couple of points to clarify in the aftermath of the article where it
wasn’t until the fourth paragraph from the end of the article that the
Mail revealed that in fact it wasn’t the WI that were the offending
group – it was actually the unannounced group from a local women’s
town guild – was led to believe. For the record, let me clarify that the WI are always welcome at Upton Cressett. I am huge fans of the WI. My grandmother was a stalwart member and I can still remember her cakes and marmalade. They were only subjected to the fiasco of the afternoon’s events over the ‘loo’ because of another group member (not the WI) locking the front door behind her after using the private lavatory in the house.
To be fair to the WI, we have we have had many WI groups (and goodness
knows how many WI members) over the years and all the others seem to
have been exemplary ambassadors for the WI philosophy and values. I admire the WI spirit – if not all their political campaigns – not to mention their WI cakes. The WI are welcome back any time.
The article seem to have been a pleasant morning tonic for a number of men who could identify all too well with what I was subjected to. John Catton, for example, wrote to me via this website:
Dear William Cash,
What a splendid article in this morning’s Daily Mail. It brought an
uplift to my spirits – good for you. You will now be inundated with
fans coming to visit you, my wife and I will surely be some of then.
Upton Cressett sounds marvellous.
Well done.
Good wishes
John Catton
PS My moment with a “there’s-always-one” woman was in the early 70s
when I spotted a letter in the Daily Telegraph complaining that she
felt totally humiliated at having the door held open for her by a
toffee-nosed young man – “and I told him so”. I realised that it had
been me who has received the verbal assault, and I remembered the
incident clearly. I wrote a reply to the DT and it was published:
“Madam, I didn’t hold the door open for you because you are a lady,
but because I am a gentleman.” She actually managed to find my
address and write to me a sniffy letter.
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There is a telling postscript to this story which shows hiw well the vast majority of grouops behave when enjoying a day visit to Upton Cressett. A few days later I had a visit from The Shropshire Arts Society, a local painting and watercolour group which has been arund since 1948. We often get requests from similar arts groups wishing to paint in the grounds and are happy to oblige. We plan, indeed, to build an artisan/artist’s studio at Upton Cressett so that we can have local artists and artisans creating work in the inspirational heritage environment of Upton Cressett.
During the afternoon, there was a huge rain storm. Looking outside
from the kitchen window, I could see a group of around a dozen women
huddled under a tree beside the moat stoically trying to defend
themselves from the rain by using their deck chairs as umbrellas. They
were too polite to even ask to come inside – but the moment I saw them
getting drenched, I invited them inside and gave them cake and tea in
the dining room.
They were charming. A few hours later, they knocked on the front door
and presented me with a thank-you card – featuring a watercolour of
Stiperstone’s Ridge ( a county beautyspot) painted by a member. ‘Thank
you so much for allowing us to paint around Upton Cressett’ the card
said. ‘All our members have really enjoyed the day, despite the rain.’
That is called good manners. As the lyrics go in ‘Whatever Happened to
Class’ in the musical Chicago: ‘Whatever happened to ‘Please may I’
and ‘Yes thank you’.